My Life as of Now, Feedback Needed

I am 19, parents kicked me out for no reason other than that i was out of high school. I support myself, pay for school and my life right now... well here it is... I hate where I am living. Not just dislike but hate. I feel unwanted. This isn't my place or my room, I have a space to put my stuff and sleep. I feel unwelcome in the house and I am only in the room. I dont eat dinner at the dinner table, I eat alone on my bed. I feel like an inconvenience when i use their kitchen or their appliances. I rarely go in their living room, only time i do is when im watching their kids. They eat my food, drink my drinks. I can't afford to feed myself as well as 5 others. They go in my room when i'm not home, walk there dirty muddy dogs through my room daily, they dont even clean up after their dogs. They leave the room door open to outside and my room is filled with bugs by the time I get home. My stuff has been gone through countless times. I feel like a burden and i have nowhere else to go so i am stuck here. And I can't talk to you cause it is so depressing how miserable i am. I dont have a home, I feel like i have nothing and im barely getting by. I dont know what to do or what you want me to do. I am trying to support myself and go to school, i cant even finish classes because i have to work. If i go to my classes then i cant work, and i cant support myself. If i work then i cant go to my classes and im stuck working mediocre jobs all my life because i have no other talents other than school, people can get by and do well without schooling, but i cant, i would be nowhere, any advice?

Pregnant Mommy (my 8th sibling!!!!!!!)

So my mom is pregnant (she's my step mom but I call her my mom). But anyways, she went to the hospital earlier today and they said that she'll have the baby within the next 12 hours. So she should be having it at anytime now. I've very excited. She's having a boy!!! So excited to have another brother. This will be my 6th brother. I have an older sister, 21, and a younger sister, 9. The rest are brothers, all younger; 19, 17, 11, 5, 2, and then my new baby brother that will be here very soon!!!!!!!!!! all are half siblings except my older sister and 17 year old brother. My family is very complicating, but I love them all :) and on top of having her baby at any time, my mom and dad just moved into their new house, they just got everything moved into the house yesterday.  It's completely in shambles right now and they accidentally bought a money pit. :( At least they have the walls fixed already, they still need to redo both bathrooms, all the floors in the house, get new doors, fix the entire fence, and so much more. I'm planning on getting them a bathroom set for Christmas for their front bathroom. My mom wants a new set but she they do not have the money to spare for that with the new baby and everything wrong with the house. I wish I can help more but I just can't. :(

-IT'S MY LIFE <3

My Boyfriend

I LOVE my boyfriend so much. He makes me smile non-stop and I just love everything about him. He is the most wonderful person in the world. He is close to elite status in lifting. I am WORRIED about him though, he has a possible hernia, and yet he will not stuff lifting even though he is fully aware of the dangers of it. He has an ultrasound on Wednesday to see if it is a hernia and if he needs surgery. Surgery is scary enough but even after the surgery he will not be able to lift. He lifts every other day and it is a huge part of his life, it is more than just a hobby, I do not know what he would do without it. He says that lifting is the only thing he feels accomplishment from. He's a great and talented lifter, and he has close to perfect form and he even does "pre-hab" to prevent and injuries and he usually puts his safety first (well I am not sure if it is his well being that he is worried about, I think it is that he does not want to risk not being able to lift). I just want him to be okay and heal correctly without any setbacks. If he needs the surgery then he will not be able to lift for months and that will devastate him. He will lose so much progress as well. To him it will seem as if years of his life went to waste.

-IT'S MY LIFE <3

Sleep

Can not seem to want to fall asleep, could be from the 2 hour nap at my boyfriends house or from the rockstar I'm currently drinking- also is most likely a combination of both. But it could also be a coincidence that I can not fall asleep on a night I had a nap and an energy drink, I WILL NEVER KNOW. Got to the point where if I fall asleep I will not want to wake up for work. I also am aware that tomorrow I will be regretting pulling an all night-er and will be wishing I would have gotten those few hours of sleep, and yet I'm still not sleeping. Instead I'm watching episodes on t.v. that I have seem many times  before. I am and will doing nothing useful with the time that I will be not sleeping. THE SMART THING FOR ME TO DO WOULD BE TO GO TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW. But knowing me I will not. It is like writing essays. I always procrastinate on them and I always regret procrastinating on them. And the time before it is due I realize that I will regret procrastinating, and yet I do it anyways. I am aware that I probably seem as if I do not make sense, but I do not make sense to myself either- I am a very complex individual, well in a logical sense anyways. NOW IN AN ILLOGICAL SENSE, I AM PERFECTLY LOGICAL. But that is just in my thought process... I have common sense in most of the things in my life, just with some things I seem to have no common sense. But at least I notice it. WHAT DO YOU THINK: IS IT BETTER TO BE COMPLETELY UNAWARE OR IS IT BETTER THAT I COMPLETELY GRASP THE FACT THAT MY THOUGHT PROCESS IS ILLOGICAL AND I DO NOTHING ABOUT IT?
I'll get back to my sleep now, I got off topic once again. Would probably be better if I at least put my time not sleeping to good use, I have tons of laundry I need to do, car to clean out, need to start packing, make a diet plan, and a life to figure out. (And it is not a diet plan like the kind that I need to lose weight, it is a diet plan that helps me eat better. Cause even though I'm at a good and healthy weight, eating cookies, ice cream, and other stuff like that is not good for my body, especially now that I'm lifting. I need to have a good amount of protein, and eat correctly so I have to energy to lift and so I can get leaner.) Hmmm... I wonder if that counts as getting off topic again, well I put it in parentheses so I guess it is fine... I decided since I am being illogical and staying up all night, that I will at least be logical and do something productive with my time...

-IT'S MY LIFE <3

Work

Have work in a few hours- yes, most of us have work as well but what's different is MY BOSS. New owner and he has total ANGER ISSUES. Yells at random employees for mistakes they did not make, and last week he messed up an order, PUNCHED A WALL, got mad at everybody else and then went to Fairfield for his birthday??? hmmm... terrible boss? It get's worse. He also does this elbow nudging thing, not as bad as his weird shoulder grab thing, CREEPS ME OUT... he also got all huffy and puffy when he found out I had a boyfriend and then called up his wife and when she got their he went out of his way to introduce us... uhhh? did you think you were trying to make me jealous???? THAT WOULD BE A NO!!! Anyways, tomorrow should be fun (sarcasm with a hint of peppy-ness), well at least it will be better after work :)

-IT'S MY LIFE <3